“After all, She Was Good”

Everything was going nice and beautiful until one day; Carl gave up on her since there was no chance he could be “lucky,” so Ava decided to stay away for her value, worth, and self-respect. For some time, Ava was trying to comprehend, wanting closure, a word, knowing that they are at peace with each other — to move on without the feeling of guilt. Then she had realized how much she had been used; her sincerity, truth, and honesty. She was carefree, caring too much for people she didn’t even know.
Carl promised Ava the world, but he was just one person. As Ava looked for grace and their beauty, he overshadowed, leaving her in the dark. The things he said, she believed as his actions showed, but only for a moment. Was it planned? Did he know what was going to happen? Or was he just being Carl?
“Time” surpassed into reassurance, and finally accepting that life is not all good but bad too. She was also happy, smiling, knowing that she did well for someone, making them comfortable and open-minded to be around her ( a sincere feeling so genuine and spirited). The most she could do was care, and whether they were terrible, that did not change their personality, for love is real and authentic with no plastic pretenses. It wasn’t her; it was them. Their personality trait does not change whether she was good enough, beautiful enough, gorgeous, funny, exciting, mean, playing hard to get. Either way, if they still had a choice, one way or the other, it does not change them.
Conclusions may sometimes be worst, but the completion of herself can ascertain a uniqueness that one can look back and say, after all, Ava was good. Maybe too good for them, her power and care so tasteful they couldn’t, so they walked away like a coward without armor. She blamed herself for being too nice, too real, never understanding the realm of her power to intimidate people who could not stand her knowledge or likeness. One can surely see her from far and wonder what in the world she was up to— she could capture minds like she captures her passion. Too many times, she blamed herself. Too many times, she cursed herself for being bonafide and for loving her own.
In time, she becomes obsessed with the thought that, after all, black love isn’t everything, that black love isn’t for every black person. That may be, she was cursed with black love. That her own treated her worse than she had ever experienced.
Ava had thought maybe being with a black man would make her more beautiful and more protected. She would know where she comes from to continue her blackness. If her favorite color was white, how could she be subjected just to the black race? They say black and white is no color. In the racial world, it is.
She came from a place where the roof leaks and water becomes a threshold on a rainy day. Where brothers clean the wet floor, steal food, and sleep on mats with no beds nor pillows, life just seemed impossible.
As she grew older, she promised to give better than what her brothers endured, she wanted to give more, but the world would never appreciate a caring soul. Like her father tells her, ” you are too kind, you will die, and the world wouldn’t care.”
Ava never blamed herself for things she never saw coming but tries to bring out the best in every situation. Regardless of her past, hurt does not change her, her mind did. Have you ever thought for once if God sees what you are going through? For Ava, God was just the tip of the iceberg. Humans are gods, and if humans can’t be God, then where is God?

Part 2 coming Next Week