“The Faded Glory”

Chapter 11 of Grace Has Found War

(The Clock is Just an Illusion, not a real thing)

I sat down in remembrance of the mistakes I have experienced, learned, and established. I’ve always known that someday, somehow, a day would come when things would fall into place, but I’m not sure when that day would come.
I want to be a writer, so I write about everything and anything that comes to mind at any point in time and place. Words have failed, and I can hardly tell how I feel or should feel at this moment. We all make choices, the people we choose to be with and those we decide to spend our time with matter the most. They either make us or break us.
I see the fireplace as I give formula to a two-month-old, Lydia. My left hand is feeding her, while my right hand is busy typing. She is curiously staring at the computer screen while sipping on her milk. The flame from the fireplace is keeping the room warm, but I’m still cold.
Honestly, my heart is broken, but I am not disappointed. However, I foresee the pain quickly disappearing without a trace, but I’m sure it would leave an indelible mark in my heart. Who am I to say that I know for sure what love feels like, but I can only sacrifice enough to show up for it!
Outside the window, I could see the branches of the leaves falling, and it’s raining. Oh, how I love the rain. It’s autumn; the leaves have changed color, and the Christmas tree is still green. I must say the tree looks beautiful and gorgeous. At least, I can still smile, even after the heartbreak. Yes, I can always smile. My tea is getting warm, but to whom do I have the pleasure of drinking? I’d have to settle for an empty chair with my Jacket hanging on it for company. In my mind, I have constructed a conversation with my Jacket that is hanging on the empty chair.
“Hi Jacket, I meditate, is there a place called happiness, or is it an illusion?” “Jacket” answers, “happiness is something you cannot see but feel. It comes, and it goes whenever it pleases. It is not stable. Nothing is stable.”
Of course, I would disagree with Jacket. But then, perhaps Jacket was right to some extent. I mean, think about it. The Jacket gets tossed whenever it wants. Sometimes, it is essential, and sometimes, it is not. It is the same with the human cycle, people see your worth today, and the next day is another story.
The grass is green, and the weather is overcast—my favorite. It has been raining for the past five hours. I have taken a break and wondered what my next ink on paper would look like – on my desk. While the clock keeps ticking, I asked myself, “When would the time come when success, I mean victory, knock at my doorstep.
“Without a second thought, I disembarked, “It takes time, but it wouldn’t take enough time for me to make that dream come true eventually.
Time has paid me with a lot of pain, happiness, fear, grace, mercy, and time has taken half of my youthful days”. Then, I quietly muttered to myself, “When I have my first babies—hopefully, twins, I would lift them towards the sky while it is raining and tell them, “your existence means life.” You are here to give meaning to the world and make a difference”. I will bless them with nature and groom them into being young millionaires. Just because it pours does not mean every tree is healthy; some need more rain, while others need less. Just because someone says they love does not mean they genuinely mean it.

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